complaining

Do You Feel Like “Not Enough”? Good!

~ ckwills ~ 1 Comment

Everyone knows the story of the loaves and fishes in the Bible. It’s one of the few incidents in Jesus’ life that is recorded in all four Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). In it, Jesus and the disciples retreat to an isolated place for some R & R, but the crowd follows. Jesus has compassion on them (that sounds like Him  and teaches them until late in the day, at which point his disciples suggest that He send the people away to buy food for themselves in nearby villages. (I’m sure their own rumbling stomachs had something to do with their suggestion.)

Jesus tells His guys, “You give them something to eat.” Quite an outrageous request! They respond as we would have, shocked at the request, then mentally calculating the cost of such a dinner on the grounds. Impossible, they all but said. We would never have enough money to buy dinner for 5,000 plus. 

When we hear that small voice inside, feel that command from God forming in our spirit, do we immediately react with our practical senses as the disciples did? Outrageous! I could never do that! It could never happen, and here’s why. All the reasons come erupting violently out of our minds and emotions. Sometimes God’s commands, though glorious, are also scare-ious. They involve losing our reputation, stepping off cliffs (not literally), and likely humiliation and failure (in our own eyes). Impossible, and here’s the reasons!

However, Jesus ignored their reasons and asked them a simple question: “How many loaves do you have? Go and see.”

Hmmmmmm…… What does that have to do with anything? Five loaves and two fishes — that’s as good as having two ping pong paddles and five balls when it comes to feeding over 5,000 people. Neither one would do the trick.

Actually, loaves and fishes were better than ping pong paddles because they were the same type of stuff Jesus was looking for: food. But it was clearly NOT ENOUGH! (Yes, I’m shouting.).

But Jesus took what they had, gave thanks, and broke it. Then He gave it back to them to distribute to the 5,000 (read: to do as He commanded).

It occurs to me that Jesus looked at the disciples, and looks at us, and sighs to the Father, “Not enough.” Didn’t He even say to the disciples (not to us, mind you), “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” “Why are you afraid?” “Why are you talking about that when that’s not the point?” “Why are you worrying?” How could twelve faithless, bumbling disciples turn into 2.18 billion Christians? Impossible.

But Jesus gave thanks for us anyway, and broke us, and we multiplied!

In the same way, we also have enough of whatever He asks of us when we give thanks for the little we have, and allow ourselves to be broken.

At times I have laid out at the altar begging God to take a sledge hammer to my hard, hard heart. Break me. Make me useful to you. Do whatever it takes, and let this prayer override any other prayer I ever pray. I can’t do this. My heart is cold. I’m not enough. 

The good news is that we don’t have to rely on, have faith in, or be persuaded that what we have is enough to do the job. It is clearly NOT ENOUGH! (Shouting again). But that’s the good news. We thank God for what we have and give it to Him to break and multiply. We don’t have to do the miracle; He does the multiplying. He makes it all happen. We just thank Him and present it to Him. It’s up to Him to make NOT ENOUGH more than enough to accomplish His purposes.

That’s a relief to me because I can put faith in God’s side of the equation. It’s me I have trouble believing in. When I try to put my faith in my five loaves and two fishes, I despair. I cry. I wail and complain. I’m faithless.

But my part is very small. It’s just being willing and obedient. He has the big job of making the miracle happen.

And He’s got this. Yippee!!!

Complaining, Whining, and Joy

~ ckwills ~ 1 Comment

A couple days after Christmas, my husband and I took our five grandkids (ages 9 – 18) to the Magic Kingdom at Disney. We knew it would be crowded because it was during the Christmas holidays. That meant longer lines, missing some rides, and fighting crowds all day. During the hour drive there, I issued a challenge. Each of us got a tiny baggie with 10 dried beans in it. When anyone complained about anything, they had to give up a bean. The person with the most beans at the end of the day got $10.

The next thing we had to do was to define complaining. If someone said, “It’s raining,” or “It’s cold,” or “My arm hurts,” was that complaining or just stating a fact? Facts are ok; complaining is not. They decided on their own that complaining has to do with the tone of voice. We made my husband the judge on that. We also included teasing and poking each other as off limits, because that elicits a whiny response. 

By that evening, no one had lost a bean except me: I lost two beans. One of my granddaughters was walking on one toe, and I asked her if her feet were hurting. She said her heel hurt, but she wasn’t going to complain. And she said it with neutral emotion — just stating a fact, not resentful at all. 

We had the best time I can remember. It was joyful all day long, and it was a blast. 

Which leads me to something I saw in the Gospel of John last night in a class at church… In John chapter 5, Jesus asks a man who has been lame for 38 years if he wants to get well.

“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

I wonder if that reply would have cost a bean. 

I only say that because, after Jesus healed him, Jesus ran into the man later and told him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.”

What did Jesus mean? We know that Jesus refuted the common belief then that someone’s sin caused disabilities, diseases, and even misfortune. We know this from the healing of the blind man in John 9:

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” 

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.”

So what sin was Jesus referring to with the man who had been lame, but was healed?

It hit me last night that Jesus might have been talking about the sin of complaining, of self-pity, of blaming. 

Now, none of us would judge the lame man for feeling sorry for himself and complaining; we can’t imagine what it would be like to have lived his life. We would agree that he had lots of reasons to feel self-pity, even bitter. Nevertheless, could it be that, no matter our circumstances, we are to praise and thank instead of complain and murmur?

I think back to the joyful day at Disney in which no one (but me!) complained or griped or whined or blamed. We loved providing that day for our grandkids, but it would have soured if there had been teasing and fighting and whining and complaining. Does God feel that way too about His kids? Have we really not been given enough to find something to thank Him for, to praise Him for?

This is on the front burner in my life right now. I give all of you permission to call me on this if you hear me complain! I want God to look at me with that joyful heart we had at Disney that day. What about you?

By the way, all the grandkids were so good, we gave all of them money!